Jul
30
2010
0

Learn to Upset the Right People

 
How do you deal with controlling people?
Convert them from controlling to frustrated.
 
The only way people can be controlling  is when we make them that way by doing what they want.
Here’s what happens: They get angry, or use guilt, or get pushy, and we give in.. Then we describe them as controlling. If we say no to them and do not do what they are demanding they have no control over us.. They are just frustrated. We have converted them from being controlling, to being frustrated.
Some examples.  Say something like this:
“I am so sorry it is frustrating you when I say no. I can see it is hard for you to accept.”"I’m sorry that it feels to you like I don’t care. That must be difficult. But I so hope you can see that i do care.”
“I’m sorry it is so frustrating to you that I am making this choice. I hope you can accept that I still car about you even though I have decided I do it my way.”

.

Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
29
2010
0

“I Won’t Like You”

 

 

 

 Sometimes those who need to confront are afraid of not only a negative response such as anger or guilt, but the loss of something positive that they value too highly to risk. 

So, what Leaders do? They confront it anyway. The go against the odds if the odds are against what’s right. They are willing to be the odd one, risking a loss of approval in order to do the right thing.
They understand that the approval of others does not go very far in making one truly fulfilled. It may be nice for a moment, but getting up every day and doing what you believe in is much more lasting. 

 

 

Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
28
2010
0

Leaders are not held hostage by anger.

 

 

 Have you ever experienced this feeling?
 
“If I Don’t Get What I Want, You’ll Be Sorry”
 
Not a good feeling.
 
Some suggestions in these situations.
 
If you let the anger of other people decide your course of action for you, then you just trained them in how to get what they want out of you. You set yourself up for the same experience again. In addition, do you really want to give to someone who is going to hate you if you don’t? What kind relationship is that?
If you are changing the course of action based on the fact that someone might get angry with you, you have chosen a flimsy foundation upon which to make a decision. You have lost control of yourself, and that is not what successful leaders do. They are not held hostage by anger.:
 
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
27
2010
0

Self-Responsibility

 

It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you that determines how you feel.

 
 

Almost all unhappiness in life comes from the tendency to blame someone else.

 
 

You are fully responsible for everything you are, everything you have and everything you become.

 
 Self-responsibility is the core quality of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing individual.
 
Refuse to make excuses or  blame anyone for anything.
 
Accept complete responsibility both for understanding and for being understood.
 
 
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
26
2010
0

Moving Forward

 

Any energy you place on what transpired in the past

 

is groundwork for guilt,

 and ego loves guilt.
Such negative energy
fabricates an excuse
for why your present moments
are troubled
and gives you a cop-out,
a reason to stay out of improving your present.

 

W.Dyer 
 
Yes! Indeed, it is so. I did that from time to time in the course of my life.
For example, it was about my father’s wrongdoing… it was so true that he wasn’t helping me,
and on the contrary, damaging my self esteem. So, I was using it as an excuse to not like doing my homework…and then I made a decision to get away from that unhealthy environment at home, and started to move forward by acting. I then continued my education in the night school, while supporting myself from the age of fourteen. It was much harder, but I felt that I was proactively progressing, instead of blaming my father.
 
 
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
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