To attract good fortune, spend a new coin on an old friend, share an old pleasure with a new friend, and lift up a heart of a true friend by writing his name on the wings of a dragon.
-Chinese proverb
My friend Paul called a few months ago. “I’m playing a game,” he told me. “Would you be willing to give me five compliments?”
“Of course!” i replied “But tell me more about the game. What are you going to do with the compliments?”
“I’m writing them down and collecting them in a notebook.” he said. “Then, when I feel down or discouraged or bad about myself, I get out the notebook and read a bit.”
“Does it work?” I asked.
“Yeah, it does,” he answered. “And I am having great fun collecting them, too. It’s really interesting to find out how other people see me. I’ve had some surprising compliments, some funny ones, some that seemed sort of weird at first. I read them to my wife and we talk about them. It’s turned into a fascinating game. Often the compliment tells more about the person giving it then it does about myself. So I learn about the people in my life, as well as about myself.”
I gave Paul his five compliments:
1. I respect you.
2. I enjoy the interesting, intelligent things you have to say.
3. I like your approach to helping others.
4. I admire your happy marriage and thriving family.
5. You live balanced life-I admire that.
Then I asked him to return the favor. Here’s what he told me:
1. You have strong personality.
2. You delight in things that go away for their sheer humanity.
3. You’re daring in your relationships; you’re risk-taker, a chance-taker.
4. You have portable homebody quality that you take everywhere you go.
5. You’re amazed by the world around you, one step at a time. You have this kind of steadfast amazement.
And I have one more for you.
6. You are natural host. You make
your friends feel right at home around your home.
I loved it. It was fun, interesting, a teeny bit surprising, and gave me inside into how Paul thinks, as well as how he sees me.
It made me think: We are so quick to criticize one another, and ourselves.
Wouldn’t it be great if we took the time to compliment one another, to acknowledge what we admire in others, to tell our loved ones, why we love them?
