Jul
15
2010
0

Leaders go beyond “fair”

 
 (continuation from yesterday T.O.T.D)
 
         Leaders give back better then they are given.
 
That means if I make a mistake, I want you to help me, not get back at me. If I fail, that is exactly when I need you to do better, not worse. If I do something wrong, I need you to rise above it and show me, and be a force to get us back on track, not to cause the situation to deteriorate into getting even.

 I want to do the same. If you made an error or did something detrimental to the relationship, I would want to help you see it, fix it, and do better.

 

I would want to be a force to help raise you up, not drag you down.

 

That is the only kind of partnership I want to be in.

 
Once again. Here is the examples of “play fair”
 
* One person is a little withdrawn, so the other feels abandoned  and give the silent treatment .
 
* One person is a little sarcastic, so the other one is sarcastic back.
 
* One person gets a little angry, so the snaps back.
Do you see why Bad for Bad, Good for Good playing fair doesn’t work ?
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
14
2010
0

Forget about playing fair

 

If you have a partner who:
. screams at you when you screamed at him/her.
. doesn’t speak with you if you are upset about  something, and don’t speak with him/her.
. won’t vacuum the house if you didn’t dust the furniture…
. won’t tell you how much/she appreciates you if you didn’t tell him/her how much you appreciate
him/her…
You got the picture?
They do this because they think: that’s only fair.
Good for good, bad for bad.
But that will destroy every relationship in life, including your relationship with superiors, colleagues, subordinates, customers…and so on.
 
Playing fair relationships will not work
You do not want to be in partnerships where the attitude is to give each other just what we deserve. That is certainly fair, but if you and I are business
associates, coworkers or personal partners , I want better then fair from you, and so are you.
I do not want to fail and have you get back at me in some way to even up the score.
 
Leaders give back better than they are given.
 
(to be continued tomorrow)
 
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
13
2010
3

Thigs Leaders Must Do (continuation)

 

 Hate or Tolerate.

 Choosing what you hate is a serious business. What will you tolerate? What will you not? What will you work with and what will you absolutely under no conditions allow?

 What you do not hate well is going to find its way into your life. 

 Here are some tips leaders would offer:

*Make your values intentional. 

Think about situations you have found to be hurtful, and what you should see as worthy of taking a stand against in order to protect what you love.

 Make list of your values.
 
* Deal with your subjective hatred.
Find the sources of your subjective hatred and make them objective. For example, if you have been hurt by unreasonable boss or partner in the past, do you feel subjective hate toward everyone in authority over you? Make and anger and hurt objective to the one person and offense that hurt you and do not generalize. Above all, seek healing.
 
* Mix with love and respect.
Leader shows up with what we call integrated character. In other words, when he brings his hate, he brings his love as well.
His hate is integrated with his love and other values, such as respect for people, kindness, and forgiveness. That is how he can take a hard stand on a tough issue but remain loving and kind in a process.
 
* Build your skills. Taking a stand against the things that destroy life can be tough if you have never learned the skills needed.
One thing leaders always do well is resolve conflict, and that means beaing honest and assertive without losing control, getting manipulated, or freaking out.
Dr. Henru Cloud
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
12
2010
0

Inspired

 

 
 Thank you David Wood and Susan Sly for giving it all, and helping so many to learn “Art of Connecting”
You truly are an inspiration.
 
I see you impacting millions of those who want to learn with you, as Masters.
 
 
                 
As a result of being more and more inspired you see Greatness in virtually everyone you meet.
 
Janna
 
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
Jul
09
2010
1

Things Leaders Must Do! (continuation)

 When you feel overwhelmed when obstacles you see standing between you and your goals, affirm at least 10 times daily:
 
* I’ve always succeeded before, and I am doing it again.
 
* The distance from where I am now and where I want to be is one step forward steady.
 
* My Goal is worthy of my effort.
 
* I must achieve in spite of….
 
* I am learning the skills I need.
 
* I am asking for help and find resources I need.
 
*. I have the time to accomplish it.
 
Written by jsosensky in: Uncategorized |
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