Pay Attention to the words you use-in self talk and in conversations with others.
‘The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.’
-Ralph Charel, author of How to Make Things Go Your Way
Many years ago I made a horrible discovery. My father was living in my head-and he wasn’t even there from I was fourteen…
I had internalized all the critical things he said to me and they had become a central part of my self-talk.
“You have two left hands” That became I am too clumsy.
“No, you can’t!” “Why?” “Because I said so!” had become “I can’t, no matter what I do”
“You’re not worth spending a cent on” -
had become “You’re worthless” in my head. And many more.
I know I’m not alone in this experience.
In day-to-day conversations as I listen to friends and others, I often hear their parent talking. I hear voices of worry, doubt, anxiety, hoplessness, worthlessness, despair, judgment, and criticism.
The good news is that our mental hard drives are quite flexible.
Your brain can change, and so can you.
You can learn to catch your negative words and replace them with positive words.
The more you practice, the easier it will get.
How to:
Continue carrying the little notebook with you, and write down your negative self-talk when you hear it. Just take a notice, notice, notice.
In time you will start to delete, delete, delete…
I did it - so can you…