Hate or Tolerate.
Choosing what you hate is a serious business. What will you tolerate? What will you not? What will you work with and what will you absolutely under no conditions allow?
What you do not hate well is going to find its way into your life.
Here are some tips leaders would offer:
*Make your values intentional.
Think about situations you have found to be hurtful, and what you should see as worthy of taking a stand against in order to protect what you love.
Make list of your values.
* Deal with your subjective hatred.
Find the sources of your subjective hatred and make them objective. For example, if you have been hurt by unreasonable boss or partner in the past, do you feel subjective hate toward everyone in authority over you? Make and anger and hurt objective to the one person and offense that hurt you and do not generalize. Above all, seek healing.
* Mix with love and respect.
Leader shows up with what we call integrated character. In other words, when he brings his hate, he brings his love as well.
His hate is integrated with his love and other values, such as respect for people, kindness, and forgiveness. That is how he can take a hard stand on a tough issue but remain loving and kind in a process.
* Build your skills. Taking a stand against the things that destroy life can be tough if you have never learned the skills needed.
One thing leaders always do well is resolve conflict, and that means beaing honest and assertive without losing control, getting manipulated, or freaking out.
Dr. Henru Cloud
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