Work on learning from the past rather then repeating it and making references to it all the time.
How to:
For example. If you in a conversation say. “ Yeah, but I always worked hard, and I still don’t make as much as I should by now.”
Instead say:” I know I can work hard but I am now learning to work smart.”
Interview others who you think get better results and start doing it differently.
or
If you say. “ No matter what I do no one appreciates it, so what’s the point.”
You could say,” I am now asking whether they (family or friends) feel there is something I did
wasn’t needed, hurt or offended them. Or maybe in the future I ask questions instead of doing it for them, and move on.”
If you think.” I am doing it because my father or mother told me so.”
If it doesn’t work for you now, maybe you want to change it.
So, you say, “What they told me was their experience, I now see it didn’t work for me. I am going to do it differently.”